On learning to stand on two feet
My daughter is almost 11 months old. People ask if she’s crawling or walking, it’s very touching people are interested in her development but these broad terms don’t really cover it. She has, in her own way, begun to move. In a variety of yoga inspired moves (yoga started with babies right?!) she leans over with one leg poised to push herself forward but the other trapped in front. A pigeon pose if you will… but she does still manage to move from one place to another, at times without any evidence of how she did! She slides, she shuffles, she leans — doubling over to reach a colourful block or plant leaf that’s just out of reach (or not!).
Our ways of talking about babies and their development misses the daily struggles and tiny, but also huge advances she makes. The steps in between before one reaches ‘crawling’ or ‘standing’ the leaning, the cruising, the wobbling, the falling. All these micro stages move us towards this advanced biological feat of balancing on two little feet, less than one turn around the sun from when she first arrived in this world and was a tiny baby completely dependent on us for her every need.
For my partner and I, we study and celebrate each new grasp and inclination to lift a leg up, and then the other one. Each arm stretch to new heights and new levels of coordination to bring it all together. It’s so inspiring to see Hazel pushing her own limits on a daily basis. She doesn’t give up, she doesn’t throw in the towel. She doesn’t see herself as failing to ‘crawl’ in the traditional sense. All this sounds obvious, but how can we unlearn all these things that we tell ourselves, as adults that teach us not to try? That we’re too slow, too unsteady, too uncomfortable to carry on? How can we be more like babies?
Hazel is always busy. Busy pointing, finding her hands or toes, sticking her fingers into a shiny button, clasp or hole just the right size. Seeing things I hadn’t seen. Busy blowing raspberries or finding loose bits of carpet. Busy lifting the magazines from the rack on to the floor and then on to the coffee table and back. Busy looking with absolute joy at her reflection in the mirror smiling back at her with pure delight at the tiny human form. Busy in a curious and interested way. Busy and determined to discover and explore. Busy to understand and learn, to push at the boundaries.
I remembered the other day someone had told me (years ago, sorry I can’t remember who it was!) that when we’re new to an organisation or role it’s within the first six months we have the most value to add. We can question how things are done, bring new perspectives, challenge things or spot issues — BUT we’re at the lowest in terms of our levels of potential influence and power because we’re new. We’re not trusted, we don’t know how things are done. We want to fit in and be liked, be a part of the team and shed our confusion or questioning. But, this is the gold dust. This is the feedback organisations end up paying consultants for. Yet it was right there in the face of a new team member or employee. I think the same can be applied to places too.
As a recently returned Northerner, I’m slowly finding my place in a new context. Making connections, feeling frustrated, seeing how things could be or how they could be better, but also doubting my lack of knowledge or context. Feeling out for allies and wondering who to trust. I wonder how many people moving to a new place — perhaps a new town, city or even country feel this and are unable to express and share their ideas and perspectives that we could all learn from.
It struck me that there was a parallel in this story around babies and children in general. I do believe that as adults we need to be focussed on learning from, observing and listening to our children with curiosity and empathy if we’re to find the answers to some of the most complex challenges of our times. To begin with play and to continue with patience. Children might have the lowest level of traditional power and influence but I believe they hold the key to so many of our personal and social challenges — like mini life consultants perhaps?! Hazel is certainly teaching me so much and I’m definitely going to try and ‘be more baby’ as I navigate the joys and hurdles of becoming a parent and running a social enterprise in a new place.
